Vicky from the L4 interviewed Dara from the L6 about Anti-Bullying Week which is celebrated annually in November. This year’s theme was Make A Noise, which encourages us all to talk about bullying and not stand silently by.
Vicky: Do you think Anti-Bullying Week has a positive impact?
Dara: Yes I believe it does. Although all year round victims are open to come forward and to have support about bullying, I think Anti-Bullying Week is positive because it creates awareness of what bullying is and how to deal with it, because a lot of the time victims don’t even know what they’re facing is bullying. They’re just coming into school and feeling negative emotions around their situation so Anti-Bullying Week is about informing people, not necessarily just having a week where we come forward about it and then after that we don’t speak about it. It’s important for other people to know what bullying behaviours are so they can check themselves and their own behaviour to make sure what they’re doing isn’t falling into that area of bullying.
V: Do you think online bullying is worse than face-to-face bullying?
D: That’s a good question. I’d say both of them have their cons and manifest in different ways. For example, face-to-face bullying introduces a possible physical element of bullying and sometimes with face-to-face bullying you can’t just log off and block the person if you’re in school with them and see them on a regular basis, which can be an emotional struggle. However, with online bullying sometimes it can be a bit more hostile and intense, because perpetrators feel like they’re hidden behind a screen and they can get away with saying things more than they would in person. And also it’s not just limited to people you know. You can be bullied by people all across the world using online platforms.
V: What do you think causes bullies to bully people?
D: That’s another good question! I think sometimes the phrase ‘Hurt people hurt people’ does apply here. Sometimes people who have been bullied in the past, but (referring to your other question) haven’t allowed themselves to trust their friends again, and trust people again, and they still hurt from what happened in the past, they can tend to take that out on other people. Sometimes difficult situations at home where people are harbouring negative feelings they can put it on other people as well. I don’t think bullies bully people because they’re evil and want to hurt people. When you look at it, we’re all human at the end of the day. Sometimes it can just be negative feelings within themselves where they don’t have an outlet to speak about those feelings and work through them, they tend to put out negative energy and hurt other people.
V: How would you help bullies stop their behaviour?
D: First of all, the best way to stop behaviours is recognising what those behaviours are and the negative aspects of them. Potentially, if you look at why they’re doing those actions, not as a justification, but if you can understand the cause, that can prevent the actions. Stopping bullying also has to take the victims’ feelings into account. You have to think that the actions and the consequences of those actions are more important than the intentions behind the actions.
V: How would you help victims be able to trust their friends again?
D: I’d say it definitely takes time and that victims should consider their feelings and mental health, and not feel like just because they want to get back to the friendship that they have to rush into friendships and just forget about it. They should definitely feel comfortable enough to acknowledge those feelings, acknowledge why they’re angry and why they feel those ways, and allow themselves time to heal, rather than just forgiving and forgetting and moving on, because in the long run that will just leave them feeling upset around their friends and won’t lead to them being able to bring back that trust again.
V: How would you describe true friendship?
D: That’s a very deep question! True friendship, well, I’d say that it’s being able to have a group of people that you know you can come to, spend time with, and have fun with, and that you feel good about yourself when you’re with them. Over the years, I’ve learnt that you don’t necessarily need to have a group of super close friends that you do everything with. Sometimes you have your friends that you study with, and when you study with them you feel really good about yourself, your grades and you can learn a lot from them. Sometimes you have friends from out of school that when you come home and you’re tired you enjoy speaking to them and being with them. Sometimes it’s your friends at school that you speak with and you get along with. I think true friendship is just having that interaction with people where you feel relaxed, at ease and good about yourself.